Reality
by the human principle
Summary: AU. Artemis Fowl is the president of Fowl Incorporated. Unfortunately, Domovoi Butler, his best friend, has suggested a bad idea and he's going with it. Too bad he won't tell little Arty anything. Previously known as Need a Life, Much? Edited.
1. Prologue: Phase 1

_Author's Beginning Notes: _ This a new type of story I haven't seen very much of on the fandom. You guys should try some more AU (alternate universe) stuff. I'm sure it would spice up the fandom! :)

Disclaimer: disclaimed.

**

* * *

Reality**

_Prologue_

Phase One

By: Popular Wannabe

* * *

"Master Artemis," the hulking figure of Domovoi Butler bowed in greeting.

Artemis Fowl looked up from his paperwork, asking, "Hello, Butler. How can I help you today?"

Butler came up from the bow, meeting his master's bright blue eyes. "Juliet has persuaded me to ask you about something."

"If it's about this secretary subject, I don't want to hear about it," Artemis instantly replied, scowling. He clicked his fountain pen in annoyance.

"I know it is rather irritating, but Master Artemis, you _need _one." The eyes of Butler showed nothing but compassion for his friend.

Artemis sighed deeply. "I do not need a secretary. I am fine as it is."

"No, Artemis, you aren't." The use of only his first name alerted Artemis that Butler was serious about this, and it wasn't just his sister speaking. "I'm afraid that you are overworking. You are the president of Fowl Incorporated, the leading investment company in Europe. You could have taken over your father's own business, but instead you started one from scratch. You work long hours, and sometimes you don't even sleep. You need relax, for your own health."

Artemis scoffed. "My health is in tip-top shape."

"_Artemis!_" His best friend hissed. "You are showing signs of premature aging! You are not in quote, tip-top, unquote shape. You muscles most likely have shrunk from lack of movement."

"Fine," he gave up. "Use my dearest cousin as an assistant."

Butler rolled his eyes in a rare sign of unprofessionalism. "Your dearest cousin, Eve, is in college."

"She can skip class."

"Artemis! You know she will not be your secretary; Eve is too much like Juliet. Eve takes those college classes for _fun_, not for her education." Butler was annoyed, but only because his master refused to be concerned of his health. "Would you stop being so stubborn?"

Artemis clenched his fists tightly. "Fine. Send an ad out, but don't blame me for the troubling outcome. _And_ I will fire this secretary if I sense something planned between you and Juliet, and them."

Butler smiled and bowed once again. "Thank you, Master Artemis."

Artemis spoke through gritted teeth. "Just leave."

Butler grinned. "Goodbye, Artemis. Please relax a little while I fetch Juliet. We expect to see you home within an hour."

He left the room, barely making a sound as he shut the door gently behind him. Once safe and out of his master's hearing, Domovoi Butler let out happy cheer, dancing in the elevator.

Everything was going to plan. All that he had to worry about was his principle finding out. Which would be pretty damn hard, considering his IQ, but Butler was sure he could pull it off.

… _I hope.

* * *

_

In his office, Artemis sighed. He doubted that this secretary plan was going to go well. Knowing his best friend, he was probably swayed by Juliet and then actually convinced of the plan over his principle's health.

_Lies_, his mind chirped immediately. _This has to be part of a bigger plan._

Artemis scoffed. His bodyguard going against him? And doing what? Finding his long lost brother? Discovering warlocks? Setting him up with a girl?

He chuckled at that last one. As if.

* * *

_Author's Ending Notes: _Well, I've changed a lot. I'm editing the next chapter as I type. So er... yeah. **I'm so sorry for the wait**. I can't give you any excuses, because there are none. School's a bitch. Um, and I've just had major writer's block. To be honest, I don't even know if this story can go much father... :/

Dude, I've gotten so many reviews; **thank you so much**. Thanks for being patient. Thank you for everything.

Thanks so much for waiting with me! Much love(:

PW.

Edited: 1/18/10 6:40 PM


	2. Chapter 1: Special Girl

_Author's Beginning Notes: _And here, our dear Arty meets our heroine. :D Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: disclaimed.

**

* * *

****Reality**

_Chapter 1_

Special Girl

By: Popular Wannabe

* * *

"This job was pointless to try out for," Holly groaned to herself, after looking at the crowded lobby of Fowl Enterprises. Most of it was full of scantily clad girls, dressed short skirts and tops that couldn't be called shirts. Faces covered in all sorts of heavy makeup, lips bright cherry reds and fake orange tans.

There were also what she assumed were homosexual males there, in tight shirts and equally tight pants. Not that she was to judge. Her best friend was gay, and she was accepting of that.

Once in a blue moon, she would catch some people in smart dress pants and black blazers, Rolex's(1) on their wrists and briefcases in their hands. They would most likely make the biggest impression.

Holly suddenly heard one girl shriek. She glanced around, spotting a girl with orange skin and what could only be called a bikini on sobbing as she ran through the doors.

She sighed, glancing at the number on the screen. _39_. The lady at the desk had told everyone to grab a number from the dispenser. Holly had drawn 156. The small black numbers mocked her. She scowled; she should have come earlier, but how was she supposed to know that it was going to be _this_ crowded?

All stupid Trouble had said was that he found a job offer and she should go to Fowl Incorporated at 9:00 AM if she wanted it.

Well, she was here, and it didn't seem like she was going to go anywhere.

_I'm going home and complaining to Trouble. I can't believe he made me come here._

As if on cue, Holly's cell phone rang loudly. The girls around her glared for the disturbance, but turned back. Checking the Caller ID, she sighed and flipped open her Motorola Razr(2). _Speak of the devil._

"What do you want, Trouble?"

"_Jeez, Holly! Who woke up on the wrong side of the bed today?"_

"No one!"

"_How's your interview?"_

"It hasn't happened yet because this arrogant, selfish rich guy has way too many skanky girls trying out for it." Holly rolled her eyes as the girls around her turned around again and glared at her.

"_Wow."_

"You wasted my time!"

"_Holly, it's okay. If yo-"_

"_No_, it is not okay! Trouble-"

"_-ust please wait it out for m-"_

"-and all the girls here are all plastic and wearing way to much make-up an-"

"_Holly, shut up."_

"Fine," she scowled.

"_Thanks, sweets. Now if you would just listen. As I was saying, just please, _please_ wait this one out. The outcome will be worth it. I promise."_

"You said that one about the last job and look what happened."

"_You were fired because _someone_ decided to punch their boss in the sucker," _Trouble's voice was accusing.

"He was hitting on me! And he was, like, at least ten years older than me!"

"_You're getting off track here."_

"Whatever."

"_Look, I gotta run. All I'm saying is to please just give this job a try."_

"Fine, fine."

"_Bye, sweetcakes."_

She sighed again. "Bye, Trouble."

Flipping her phone back shut, she glanced at the number screen again. _41 _brightly flashed twice. She scowled; stupid job.

After drumming her fingers got glares from the girls and tapping them got more than a few high-pitched '_shut up!'_s, Holly was once again more than ready to leave. Why couldn't she just go up there and talk to the boss herself?

Wait a minute.

She grinned. Why not? If the lady at the desk was going to be a hassle, she could always threaten to use her badass karate skills on her. Holly nodded at her genius-ness and began to move.

She pushed her way through the mass of people, ignoring the nasty glares and '_watch it, bitch_''s she heard. Eventually, she arrived at the front desk with ruffled hair and off center clothes. She fixed herself up before approaching the lady at the desk with all the mind to tell her to hurry the fuck up.

Huh, the lady from before had disappeared. Replaced by her was a model-esque girl, who couldn't be older than twenty, lazily spinning on the chair while texting someone on her iPhone 4(3).

"Excuse me?" Holly ventured, her anger fading. The girl looked up from her phone, revealing friendly gray eyes.

"Yes?"

"Well, I was wondering, could you please hurry the _fuck_ up?" After seeing that the girl was harmless enough, she thought she might as well give her a piece of her mind.

To Holly's surprise, the girl didn't seem shocked, instead she burst into a fit laughter. When she finally calmed down, her eyes still had that spark of laughter. "I'm afraid I can't do anything about it."

Holly frowned. "Oh well, damn."

"I can't do anything about that, but since the most recent interviewee has just left, why don't you go up right now?" The girl smiled, still laughing.

"Are you allowed to let me do that?" Holly asked confusedly.

"Not quite, but you'll be fine."

"Um…Okay?"

The girl flashed a grin. "Don't worry; if Arty gets mad, I'll make sure he's calm. Can I get your name?"

"Are you going to report me?" was Holly's first reaction.

The girl burst into laughter again, "I, Eve Ivory Fowl, swear on my great-grandmother's grave that I am not lying."

"Okay… It's Holly Short."

Eve quickly wrote something down on the pad of paper on the desk. "Okay, go on up to the thirtieth floor. Arty should be having tea time."

"Er… Arty?"

"Just a nickname."

"Uh, okay. Bye." Holly had just taken a step when a thought occurred in her mind. "Wait, Eve Ivory _Fowl_? And _Arty_?"

Eve sent her a wink. "Go on up to the thirtieth floor; Arty should be having tea time by himself."

Holly waved goodbye as she stepped in the elevator and pressed the _30_ button. That girl was slightly weird, but mostly funny. She sure liked to mess with her brother or cousin or relative. Holly missed that relationship with her brother.

The elevator played some cheesy Frank Sinatra(4). It was nicely furnished though, the walls shiny mirrors with a handle running along the walls. It was then it occurred that she was going to meet her future boss.

Did she look okay? Did she look professional? Could she _even_ do this job?

She fretted as she ran her fingers through her short auburn hair. She dusted off any possible lint and other particles off her black pencil skirt. Her shimmery tank top that Trouble had forced her in actually was pretty. The heels that Trouble had also forced her in didn't really do much for her except make her wobble.

The elevator dinged to a stop and the doors opened to reveal a frozen CEO of Fowl Incorporated and spilt cup of tea. Artemis Fowl quickly set the now-empty cup on the table and turned to face her.

"Holly Short, I presume?"

Only when she saw the furious look on Artemis' face did she realize that the girl could have been messing with her.

* * *

(1)- disclaimed.

(2)- disclaimed.

(3)- disclaimed.

(4)- disclaimed.

_Author's Ending Notes: _Ha, yes, Holly has a bit of a pottymouth. If you didn't notice, I changed the rating to T. Yeah, I also changed Athena to Eve... The whole goddess-name thingy, didn't really work with me. Athena seemed to cheesy of a name.

Hopefully you like this new edited version! Please review! :)

Thanks for being patient! Much love,

PW.


	3. Chapter 2: Crazy

Sorry, I know I haven't updated in so long and I can't really blame anyone but myself. But now, summer vacation has begun, so expect more chapters. Really sorry by the way...:( Hope you forgive me!

Summary: Artemis Fowl is THE president of Fowl Incorporated. Unfortunately, Domovoi Butler, his best friend and bodyguard, has suggested a bad idea and going with it. Too bad he won't tell little Arty anything. But one thing: Phase 1, getting a secretary.

Disclaimer: If I owned Artemis Fowl, Arty and Holly would be past being friends…;).

**Need a Life, Much?**

Chapter 2

The two stared at each other for what seemed like 1 minute to them, but was actually quite long. It was around 50 seconds that Artemis realized something. Athena could have stopped Ms. Short but Athena, being like her, must have let her go. She was in with Domovoi and Juliet for sure.

And then around 1 minute and 1 second, Holly snapped out of her trance to realize 2 not-so-pleasant, irritating (in her point of view) points. Number 1, Artemis was pretty hot, and Number 2, they looked like they got surgery or something to get one of each eye, which meant that they looked like they were in LOVE.

So around 1 minute and 11 seconds, Holly broke the silence.

"WHY THE HECK DO YOU TAKE SO LONG?" she yelled, so loud that people in the lobby (which was 26 floors down) could probably hear her, loud and clear. "YOU MAKE ME SO MAD! RICH PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO DON'T CARE ABOUT OTHERS, WHO NEED JOBS, MAKE ME SO PISSED!"

All Artemis could do was raise an eyebrow in reply. I must agree; it's quite hard to make a snappy comeback to that.

"I do care. But just so you know, some people that I've interviewed are not so 'nice'. Take Minerva Parazido for example. She was quite the scary kind." Artemis sighed.

"Oh, Ms. Plastic Blonde? Yeah, us down there didn't really like her, if you know what I mean." Holly replied, her voice even and calm. "She's such a snob. She kept on bragging about her money and perms and, you know, everything."

Artemis let out a small chuckle. Surprising for him and for Holly. Artemis Fowl was known for showing little emotion. This was not good. Holly was changing him, ALREADY.

"Well, since you're here, would you like to do your interview?" Artemis asked kindly, the traces of his chuckle still on his face.

In return, Holly stared wide-eyed and gaped. She didn't expect him to interview her. After all, she barged in on his 'tea time'.

"I'll take that as a yes. Would you like any tea?"

* * *

I know this was a short chapter, even after I said i was gonna upload more. SORRY!!

REVIEWERS, I LOVE YOU GUYS!!

-Zanachan101 :)


End file.
